Relationships:
"Out beyond ideas, Of right doing and wrong doing, There lies a field. I’ll meet you there." - Rumi 13th Century Poet and Sufi Master
I provide counselling for couples of all ages with relationship and communication difficulties, both face to face and online..
The therapeutic "space" I provide is confidential and unbiased and engenders respect, sensitivity, understanding and empathy. I see the dynamics, both positive and negative, in every relationship as being contributed to equally by each partner. I work to help couples see this for themselves, as this may not always be obvious at first, and to make sense of their repetitive and reactionary patterns. I provide them with the tools to move beyond these patterns to a more connected, conscious, harmonious and passionate relationship.
I believe that the reason we are attracted to each other and engage in relationship is because we recognize in the other, intuitively and often immediately, the opportunity for our healing and growth. The recognition of this potential is usually unconscious and because of our innate drive to heal and grow the attraction is very powerful. This leads us to fall in love, often seeing each other as our "perfect" partner. It is not usually until the romantic phase has passed, which it inevitably does, that we start to feel challenged by each other, often in a reactive way.
Our reactivity is actually growth trying to happen, but instead of growing our survival instinct adopts a defensive attitude and causes us to either withdraw and close down, to retaliate, to go numb or to give in. Our reactivity in turn triggers our partner’s reactivity and so on. This behaviour can often look and sound very childish. It is! We are touching each other’s unresolved childhood issues.
By understanding how and why we so skillfully push each other's buttons and how each of our buttons got there in the first place we can start to make sense of what brought us together and the underlying dynamic in our relationship. The partner we have chosen is indeed "perfect" because he or she holds the blueprint for our healing and growth. With this growing awareness we can begin to move beyond reactive behaviour into a more conscious, mature, understanding, empathic and respectful way of relating. And with these qualities more firmly and consistently established, intimacy can develop, love deepen and vitality abound .
A large part of the work I do with couples is also based on Imago Relationship Therapy in which I am a fully qualified clinical practitioner. Please see the Imago Relationship Therapy page.
The therapeutic "space" I provide is confidential and unbiased and engenders respect, sensitivity, understanding and empathy. I see the dynamics, both positive and negative, in every relationship as being contributed to equally by each partner. I work to help couples see this for themselves, as this may not always be obvious at first, and to make sense of their repetitive and reactionary patterns. I provide them with the tools to move beyond these patterns to a more connected, conscious, harmonious and passionate relationship.
I believe that the reason we are attracted to each other and engage in relationship is because we recognize in the other, intuitively and often immediately, the opportunity for our healing and growth. The recognition of this potential is usually unconscious and because of our innate drive to heal and grow the attraction is very powerful. This leads us to fall in love, often seeing each other as our "perfect" partner. It is not usually until the romantic phase has passed, which it inevitably does, that we start to feel challenged by each other, often in a reactive way.
Our reactivity is actually growth trying to happen, but instead of growing our survival instinct adopts a defensive attitude and causes us to either withdraw and close down, to retaliate, to go numb or to give in. Our reactivity in turn triggers our partner’s reactivity and so on. This behaviour can often look and sound very childish. It is! We are touching each other’s unresolved childhood issues.
By understanding how and why we so skillfully push each other's buttons and how each of our buttons got there in the first place we can start to make sense of what brought us together and the underlying dynamic in our relationship. The partner we have chosen is indeed "perfect" because he or she holds the blueprint for our healing and growth. With this growing awareness we can begin to move beyond reactive behaviour into a more conscious, mature, understanding, empathic and respectful way of relating. And with these qualities more firmly and consistently established, intimacy can develop, love deepen and vitality abound .
A large part of the work I do with couples is also based on Imago Relationship Therapy in which I am a fully qualified clinical practitioner. Please see the Imago Relationship Therapy page.
Sessions:
Sessions are normally 90 minutes long..Please contact me for my current fees, I have a few concessionary places for couples with limited financial means. I also see couples online on Zoom. Please see the Zoom page for further details.
"Bryan is an experienced and present therapist who works sensitively and responsively with couples issues. The Imago system he uses is an effective system to enable couples to deepen their understanding of areas of misunderstanding and find places of authentic connection, and so unravel the tangles."
Sarajane Aris, AFBPS, CPsychol,
Consultant Clinical Psychologist,
Brian Pearse, Head Teacher ( retired)
